I was almost done. I was looking at the pasta section when a guy passes me....stops, turns, and says
"Having pasta for dinner?"
I said 'Yes.'
"Spaghetti?"
'No,' I said, 'I'm making a soup.'
"Oh...are you a cook?"
In fact, I sort of am. I cook dinner for 30 people 4 nights a week so I said 'I guess you can say that.'
"Oh, I'm a cook too! I'm a chef at Golden Corral."
Now I'm getting a little itchy. We've been dancing. He takes a step forward and I take a step back. So to try and get a hold of the conversation and hopefully steer it to an end I ask him 'Are you just getting some milk?' It was the only thing he was carrying.
"Yeah, it's Lee's daily deal on Wednesday's. It's such a good price!"
'Oh, good! Well, go and enjoy your milk!' I scoochie back and start to turn back to my cart.
He stops dancing towards me and says "Oh I will for sure."
'Good, and go get some cookies to have with it,' scoochying some more.
He takes two lunging steps towards me "Are they on sale?!"
'I don't know! Go find out!' I'm deliberately shooing him with my hands. My personal bubble has been popped.
Before I can completely turn from him he thinks of something else to ask me.
Before I can completely turn from him he thinks of something else to ask me.
"I noticed you were staring at the pasta for a while. What were you looking for?"
'The cheapest one.' I turn my back even more.
"Are you almost done?"
'Yeah, oh yeah, I'm pretty much through.' More hand shooing.
"Oh good, me too." (ARE YOU READY FOR THIS PART PEOPLE?!) He then proceeds to place HIS MILK in MY CART and start pushing MY CART towards the registers!!!!!!!
Shocked. I'm frozen. Paralyzed. Thinking back on this situation I realized I should have asked 'May I please have my cart back?' or 'Can you please remove your milk from my cart?'
But the only thing that managed to slip out of my unmoving lips was 'I-I need to go this way.' And pointed in the opposite direction.
"Okay," he said and steered MY CART around. I felt so invaded. That was MY STUFF and MY CART. He didn't ask permission or anything! Just grabbed it! At least I was carrying my purse or I probably would have been a lot more aggressive on separating him and my cart. What followed was a very awkward escort through the freezer section. At least I hadn't lied, I was almost done.
But the next few minutes I was glued to my shopping list, crossing off what had already been marked, and scurrying as fast as I could to get this over with.
Meanwhile I was trying to answer his probing questions.
One of my favorites was "I noticed you are wearing a skirt today. Do you usually wear skirts or is it a special occasion?"
'I-I just...felt like wearing a skirt.' Trying not to giggle at the ridiculousness of the situation, I couldn't help but do the nice thing and return his question. 'Do you wear pants every day?'
"Why, yes I do. I don't know if you'd count shorts as pants. But usually, yes."
He referred again to being a chef at Golden Corral and that he would "never make me cook for him....because he was a chef..." (And why are you telling me this?)
He mentioned that he was "an excellent helper."
I said 'Oh! I'm sure you are!'
"You sound a little sarcastic."
'Oh no! I do not doubt the least bit that you are a great helper.' Face. Serious. As. I. Could. Make. It.
FINALLY we get up to the check out and I MAKE him go first. I had a lot of stuff and he only had his milk. Thank goodness he didn't fight me too hard. After I unloaded all my stuff, I placed the cart firmly between us and became very interested in all the gum and magazine's. (Wow is that Martha Stewart? She looks great in her new Halloween cover.) He was through paying and took a moment to turn back and reach over the cart to give me a handshake. Which I appreciated. At least he didn't wait. Or offer to help me out to my car. Because I would have had to adamantly refuse. There ain't no way this boy was going to follow me to my car.
As the girl started ringing up my items (I knew her from a chemistry coarse) she asked "Did you know him?" I said 'Nope.'
She gasped. "Are you okay?!" At that I had to laugh. At least I wasn't the only one to feel like his hunt was a little disturbing.
No more shopping on Wednesday's. Unless I dress as a hobbling hag.
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